Back

(This bit in bold added later same day) Oh Fuck it! (sorry about the language for anyone offended). I locked my blog to make it private. I need the comments and support damn it! So, blog be public again and to hell with the consequences. I can't see anyone bagging me for going back to WW after saying it didn't work for me. And if they do what's the worst that will happen - ummmm.... nothing?

Back because my back hurts and back because I'm here again.

Nearly six full months since I last blogged last. Bugger. It's a reflection of how I've kind of lost the plot. A string of minor illnesses and poor organisation resulting in insufficient sleep.Oh yeah, and winter. Winter can be depressing and makes it hard to get off my arse and move.

This pattern is too familiar and now I'm back at 121.6kg. Yay me (not).

I've felt like I've lost the plot and I've been going to the gym very infrequently which sucks a lot. I have three early starts at work this week which means two gym days. That's better than the last couple of weeks (or months) so I'll take it. Every day will be super early so at least I'll have a consistent wakeup.

Also - and I'm in two minds about whether this is a good or bad thing - I've gone back to WW. After giving it some thought over the past two weeks I thought I'd just get in there and try again. They have a new program which means I won't be able to feel that I know it all and I can "get away with" whatever I want. I don't feel smarter than the program at the moment.

Actually, the new program is kind of complex and will take a bit of getting used to.

Because I so proudly trumpeted about how I was over WW and it just didn't work for me, I've also made this blog private. I don't really want to be writing with an audience in mind. This is now my diary.

So the thing to do now is get my head around the new WW program, tell Geoff that's what I'm doing and apply it. GO TO MEETINGS, stick with it. Don't get complacent. 

I miss feeling good about my body SO MUCH. I don't feel healthy, I just feel very overweight. I've been having back problems this year and I hate squashing my fat arse (and gut and chest and legs and back) into an airline seat. 

My portion sizes are out of control, I don't exercise and I'm not organising my supermarket shop to get any sort of planning or nutrition. 

Aarrruuughhhhh. .................... So. This week. Learn the program. Go to the gym twice, go for a walk of 1 hour min each Saturday and Sunday. That's it. I can do this.

Any WW weigh in is on Thursday so I really want a loss by then.